For your own good... don't go see the new Day the Earth Stood Still. Not even out of curiosity. I'm not joking. It's a huge step back for cinema. It's a huge step back for humanity. You have no excuse. I've made the mistake, and now you don't have to. It will give you eye cancer. It will make you sterile, and not in the good way.
I know what you're thinking: "This Keith fellow... he's prone to exaggerate to get his point across. I better go see for myself!"
No. Fuck you. I forbid it. If you really need to get your fix, watch the original again. Or just watch something else. Want some Keanu? Pop in Bill & Ted. Shit, you can even pop in Johnny Mnemonic. It's leagues beyond this travesty of a "remake." Need some Jennifer Connelly? How about Labyrinth? Labyrinth is great! Or when was the last time you watched The Rocketeer? Isn't that movie awesome?
Yes, let's all stay home this weekend and watch The Rocketeer.