Sunday, July 27, 2008

12 Reasons Not to End Your Life (Just Yet)

It would seem I've been chosen by Scott of He Shot Cyrus to blow your fucking minds. I hope that's cool. Specifically, Lazy Eye Theatre is hosting the 12 Movies Meme, in which some of us internet jerks pretend we have some place to show great movies besides our stupid apartments. The idea is that if Diablo Cody can do it, then actual, real human beings who know things about movies can probably do it even better.

So the rules are basically:
1) Pick 12 movies
2) Explain yo' damn self
3) Pick 5 more people to carry on your wretched torch

By now pretty much every non-famous person's blog that I read has already been nominated, so I'm just going to skip that last part. Or how about this: if you're reading this, have a blog, and haven't been nominated, I nominate YOU. Get to work!

On to my selections. You'll notice that only 7 of the 12 are Asian (and one set in Asia, I guess). I feel that I've shown considerable restraint here. You, collectively, should be proud of me.

Night 1: Consumerism Is Kind of Rad?

Dawn of the Dead / Chopping Mall
Do you like consumerism? Well you probably shouldn't! But don't take my word for it. Just watch these two horrifying cautionary tales.

Night 2: Lock and Loll!

Linda Linda Linda / Wild Zero
In Japan, Rock and Roll still means something.

Night 3: Eastern Westerns

Exiled / Sukiyaki Western Django
What happens when people from Asia make westerns? Let's find out together! Hugs!

Night 4: Everyone Loves... Homoeroticism!

Dead Ringers / Gozu
Do you think that it is bad for a man to give another man kisses, or do you agree that it is okay?

Night 5: Remember When Exploitation Didn't Have Anything to Do With Tarantino? Neither Do I!

Lady Snowblood / Ilsa, She Wolf of the SS
Ironically (not really), Tarantino is actually mentioned on that Lady Snowblood poster. Fuck that! What this world needs is a real grindhouse double feature.

Night 6: Girls I Am Pretend-Married To

Chungking Express / Lost in Translation
In case you're confused, the girls I'm referring to are Faye Wong and Scarlett Johansson. I'm actually pretend-married to Tony Leung as well, although he did recently get married for real (not to me).

So... what do you guys think? Would this be a successful near-week of movie watching glory? I'm inclined to think so. If anyone has a spare theater lying around, let me know and we'll find out for sure.


Fox said...

Excellent job in pairing these movies together!

I especially like the Dead Ringers/Gozu double-feature. Back-to-back films about weird vaginal occurances.

elgringo said...

Chopping Mall! Excellent. From the man that brought you Munchie.

I'm adding Linda Linda Linda to my queue.

Keith said...

Dude! Linda Linda Linda is one of the cutest movies ever. I hope you're up for it.

Oh, and I'm adding Munchies, Munchie, AND Munchie Strikes Back to my queue. We'll see if I can survive the barrage...

whitney said...

I would go to every one of those double features. Even though I just saw Dead Ringers about a week ago. I'm always in the mood for some gynocological twin drama.

Keith said...

You and me both!

Now that I think of it, a good alternate title for the Dead Ringers / Gozu night might be "The Vag-tastic Voyage." On account of, you know... vaginas. (Vaginae?)

MC said...

I almost picked Sukiyaki Western Django for my own Non-American Western themed night, but alas, I haven't seen it so I didn't feel comfortable picking it.

MovieMan0283 said...

Damn, I haven't seen any of these...other than the last two (and yes, Scarlett Johannesan is very hot. Was Faye Wong the mysterious woman in sunglasses or the girl who kept playing "California Dreamin'"?). So if you ever get your wish, I'll attend the program.

You can check out my list here:

Incidentally, I too am just delving into Twin Peaks & will probably watch Fire Walk With Me next week. I didn't want to read your review, for fear of spoilers, but what did you think of the sudden turn halfway through Season 2? I haven't finished it yet but I'm still having trouble wrapping my head around a "Twin Peaks" without the Laura Palmer murder to solve. Apparently, I wasn't the only one. I'd always been under the impression that audiences just weren't "sophisticated" enough to keep up with Lynch's brilliance and the poor, martyred show was cancelled but (unless it already been targetted by mid-season 2) it just got really lame instead.

Keith said...

Faye Wong was the cutie patootie who was always playing "California Dreamin'". She's actually one of Asia's biggest pop stars, though I'll admit to being more in love with her character in Chungking Express than her actual real-life self.

As for Twin Peaks: I actually don't think my post would spoil anything if you're already into the middle of the second season. But I can definitely confirm that it does get kind of shitty after Laura's death is solved.

But know this! It gets better at the very end, when Lynch comes back into the picture. You've just gotta stick it out through the lameness.